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War is the H-Word
"War Is the H-Word" is episode seventeen in Season Two of Futurama. It originally aired in North America on November 26, 2000. The episode parodies several war films and shows, including Starship Troopers, Patton and M*A*S*H. Plot As part of an attempt to scam a 7¹¹, Fry and Bender enlist in the Earth Army. However, before they can use their 5% military discount to buy chewing gum, Earth declares war on Spheron I - a planet that commanding General Zapp Brannigan says, to his troops, is devoid of any natural resources, and possesses no strategic importance whatsoever but is willing to put troopers' lives at risk for no reason. Concerned for her friends' safety, Leela attempts to enlist, but the Army has a men-only policy. While Earth's flagship, the Nimbus, makes its way to the enemy planet, the soldiers undergo training and we discover that Leela has sneaked aboard disguised as a man, under the name of Lee Lemon, to whom Brannigan finds himself strangely attracted. They arrive and discover the enemy is a race of pink, sentient, ball-like creatures. In their first battle Fry fails to stop an attack and instead blows a hole in the ground to hide. Bender manages to stop an enemy bomb by covering it with himself. For his act of cowardice, Brannigan sentences Fry to a demeaning punishment that is more gruesome than being his assistant - being Kif's assistant. Kif takes this opportunity to be very strict towards Fry. After the initial battle with the balls, the soldiers regroup at camp. The Commander-in-chief, President of Earth Richard M. Nixon's head, sends Bender and Henry Kissinger's head to negotiate with the Spheron leaders, the Brain Balls. Brannigan, however, tells everyone the true plan. A voice-activated bomb has been planted inside of Bender and will detonate, destroying the whole planet, when Bender says his favorite word: "ass". As the DOOP evacuates, Fry thinks up a plan to steal a helicopter and knock out the guards, only for "Lee Lemon" to act out his entire plan. "Lemon" asks Fry if he recognizes "him" but Fry incorrectly thinks Hermes. Zapp spots them and, seeing them holding hands and angry at their betrayal, prepares to arrest them. When "Lemon" beats him up and reveals "his" identity as Leela, Zapp utters "Leela! So it's you I've been attracted to. Oh God, I've never been so happy to be beaten up by a woman." The two fly to the negotiating-hall. Fry, pushed out of the helicopter by Leela, is determined to prove that he is a man. He hops on one of the balls towards the conference. He manages to inform Bender of the plot just in time before he utters his favorite phrase; Kissinger congratulates Fry for his bravery. However, Bender, who has gotten bored with the ball leaders talking about bouncing, realizes that he now has the power to make the Brain-balls surrender. Though Spheron I is actually the brain balls' homeworld and it is the humans who are the "evil invading aliens", Bender simply demands that they "get the hell off my planet!", and they all evacuate, bouncing into space. A New New York Post headline reads "War Over! Balls Thoroughly Licked!". Back at the Planet Express office, Professor Farnsworth cannot remove the bomb from Bender's body because it is stuck with glue. Instead, he resets the bomb from a list of words Bender hardly ever uses. Bender asks what it is but the crew refuses to tell him. The word is "'antiquing'", which Bender successfully guesses. Quotes *'Sergeant': "Correct, there is no obligation." and Bender sign the enlistment papers Sergeant: "Unless, of course, war were declared." goes off Fry: "What's that?" Sergeant: "War were declared." ---- *'Zapp Brannigan': "Alas, after a series of deadly blunders caused by distracting low-cut fatigues and lots of harmless pinching, the Army decided women weren't fit for service. Not when I'm in charge." ---- *'Richard Nixon': "Brannigan!" Zapp Brannigan: "Hmm?" to face Nixon Richard Nixon: "My God, cover yourself! I didn't live a thousand years and travel a quadrillion miles to look at another man's gizmo!" ---- *'Zapp Brannigan': "You'll be negotiating with the aliens' mysterious leaders, the Brain Balls." to head "They've got a lot of brains..." cupping gesture "and they've got a lot of... chutzpah." ---- *'Zapp Brannigan': scrubbed in shower by Kif "A little lower... lower... lower... a lot lower...TOO LOW!... lower..." ---- *'Fry': "Stop you can't say the next word!" Bender: "Up yours, chump, I said it 980 times before lunch." ---- *'Bender': a baseball tune "Ass ass ass ass ass ass...ass!!" ---- *'Bender': "The name of the game is make Bender happy or he blows up the planet!" gasp Brain Ball: "Stop, there is no need to bounce off the handle." Bender: "That's it! I'm sayin' it! A is for a..." Brain Ball: "Stop! We give into all of earths demands! The war is over. Our home planet is yours." Fry: "Wait, this is your home planet? We're the evil invading aliens?" Brain Ball: "Correct." Bender: "Then I guess you learned a valuable lesson. Don't mess with earth!" Brain Ball: "May you bounce in peace." Bender: sternly "Get the hell off my planet." ---- *'iHawk': maudlin "This isn't a war, it's a murder." in [[Wikipedia:Groucho_Marx|Groucho Marx] voice] "This ain't a war, it's 'moider'!" ---- *'Zoidberg': patient "Scalpel, blood bucket, Priest, next patient." Trivia *Large segments of the episode make direct reference to the TV show M*A*S*H*. The M*A*S*H* theme is played over the establishing shot of the field hospital, and the surgeon robot, iHawk speaks in the voice of Alan Alda as Hawkeye Pierce. *Todd Susman, the original voice of P.A. announcer in M*A*S*H, replays that voice in this episode. *Fry trains with a hovering drone in a reference to Luke Skywalker's lightsaber training on the Millenium Falcon in the movie Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, only here, the drone is actually a pinata. *This is the first time Fry sings Walking on Sunshine. *According to the commentary, the original line in the New New York Post's headline was "Earth Licks Balls!". This was deemed "going too far". *Fry rides one of the balls like a space hopper. Debut Appearances *Henry Kissinger's head *Brain Balls *iHawk Alienese *The tent reads "M*E*A*T" in Alienese. Category:Season Two Category:Articles in need of a re-write